podcast

sleon productions Podcast #33: Coach Arnie Fonseca

Arnie Fonseca, Jr is a Strategic Life Coach, an interventionist, speaker, and consultant. He is the visionary behind Hands of Hope Coaching, a company that is making lasting change a possibility for anyone that is committed to creating positive, happier, healthier and more fulfilling experiences in their life, love and work. “Coach Arnie” specializes in Empowering everyone through Adventure to experience an Epic and fulfilling life!

Transcript

Santiago Leon
Hello, hello. And this is this Leon productions podcast where we interview entrepreneurs, world changers and people that influence and bring value to this podcast and today I have a a person that I met a couple of months ago I think almost over a year. Coach Arnie Fonseca. He is a Strategic Coach, a interventionists speaker and consultant. He’s the visionary behind hands of hope coaching. A company that is making change a possibility for anyone that is committed to create a positive, happier, healthier, and more fulfilling experiences in their life, to love and work. Coach Arnie specializes in Empowering everyone through adventure to experience an epic and fulfilling experience in life and coach Arnie Fonseca is on the line. Welcome to the slingshot productions podcast.

Arnie Fonseca
Santiago, how you doing my brother?

Santiago Leon
Arnie doing really? Well. I think the first time we met, obviously was to someone else, but I think it was in 2019, but possibly in 2018.

Arnie Fonseca
Now, I think it might have been before that. I think it was 2008 .

Santiago Leon
Wow. There you go. And,

Arnie Fonseca
yeah, it’s been a while off and on here and there. And you know, and you were doing some interesting things down in, in the Florida area, the Miami Beach, South Beach, home of the Super Bowl.

Santiago Leon
Exactly. And of course, you also live in a warm area in Phoenix, Arizona.

Arnie Fonseca
Today, though, not today. It’s cold.

Santiago Leon
It’s cold. Yeah, we have had some cold days but it usually warms up pretty quick. I don’t think Phoenix warms up that quick. I think they kind of stick in the coal for a bit,

Arnie Fonseca
a little bit, and then we will be a lot hotter.

Santiago Leon
Well, Coach only tells a little bit about yourself.

Arnie Fonseca
Guys, and I know that there’s a lot of entrepreneurs business owners listening in, you know, I’m a teacher and a coach. I’ve been telling people, just recently last night, actually, that I coached my first football team in high school 40 years ago. And a lot of those young men are not young anymore, they’re in their 50s and they’re good friends of mine to this day. And, but I’ve always had a knack for understanding young people in communicating effectively with them. Which has allowed me to obviously connect and and have that ability To have some impact on their lives. And I don’t know why. I mean, we didn’t have all this stuff to study back then. But, you know, you just, you know what you know, and I’ve always had that ability actually had a head coach that I work for back then. We’re in the heat of the battle. It was actually 40 years ago this year, it’ll be during the football season come up, but and he came up to me and we were playing for the division championship. And he goes, I don’t know what you say to those guys would say it right now. And they use some flowery language, which I’m not sure if you’re allowed to use on your show came to mind but so I pulled my guys together and use some very lovely language with them, and they did really well. And so but it’s it’s strategic use of the whip, I guess you’d say. Communication in some of the things that San Diego and I have talked to God is how today we don’t effectively communicate. And I think as a as a coach as intervention as a strategic thinker, I guess that I think that effective communication can be a game changer not only for your business, but for your life. You know your relationships because most people that I know that struggling with relationships because they don’t talk. And I know it doesn’t feel good. I mean, believe me, I’m not perfect and I have my own issues in my own relationship. It always comes down to always what yeah, that’s who I am. I’m a teacher and a coach, man. So go ahead.

Santiago Leon
What influences got you to be the coach was your dad was your family.

Arnie Fonseca
Okay, I’m gonna give it to you straight here. vulnerability is power. Again, dissolve recent information and data compensation. My wife It wasn’t my dad, my dad, which is one of the reasons that I got into coaching men, as well. My dad and I had horrible relationship. Absolutely rock bottom horrible. More on the psychological standpoint. And because of that, I lean into my teachers and coaches. And thank God, thank God I had great teachers and coaches. And because they were able to feed me my love language before I even knew what that was. They were always encouraging me and complimented me. Now granted, I had this stuff, and before I felt I performed at a pretty high level, but because of that, I got feedback. And, and because of that, that’s all everyone is doing teaching and coaching, because but I knew that teaching was the only way to get there. And so it certainly wasn’t my dad. I think my dad might even been jealous. So standpoint, two point. I didn’t really know enough to care enough at that point in my life. I just knew that I couldn’t get along. And but, you know, as I told my wife yesterday, I worked it out with him. I worked it out with him years ago, guys, because I know there’s a lot of people that are listening right now, to this don’t have great relationships with their dad. I know that 50% of young guys today don’t even didn’t even grow up with a dad. I know that this is the stuff I teach. And but I do know that I do you know, this, whatever whoever your dad was. They get the best. They knew how my dad did not know how to be a dad. He was the youngest of many kids. His dad was a great guy who traveled all over the valley selling and meeting people had great personality. I think a lot I got a lot of interest in what I do, but it He wasn’t there. He wasn’t with he wasn’t to be a debt. And so regardless of what’s going on you guys’s lives, you know, forgiveness is a big part of my life had had to learn it. But don’t let that burden of your dad years relationship, pull you down, learn from it, be better from it. And you’d be surprised how you can help you through that. Whether it’s in your company or in your own life, because there’s a lot of guys on your team, probably they’re struggling because they didn’t have dads either. So it might answer your question in a story way. It was my teachers and coaches that influenced me being a coach period,

Santiago Leon
what type of coaching that you practice with your clients?

Arnie Fonseca
I call emotional coaching. There’s a lot of guys will sign you up and then they’ll meet with you for Half Hour, 45 minutes, maybe an hour, once a week, once every other week and let you know what you guys have set up. I call mine emotional coaching Santiago because I know that emotions are like the tide, waves in the ocean. They come in, they go out, they come in, they go out. And so a lot of my guys depending on how I structure it, is when they are having a really hard day. I don’t want them to wait a week. If they have a really bad experience, I don’t want them to wait a week to talk about now I don’t want to be a hammock. So you know, we have some rules. The same time if it’s something I can defuse in 30 seconds or a minute on a quick phone call or text, I want them to get a hold of me because I call it emotional coaching. And, and I’ve just developed that over over time because I know how it was when I had when I was paid for cooking have coaches and some were good at that some words. Some I used for that some. That’s not what they did. That’s what I do. But I’m more of the soft skills guy. I’m not the hardcore, you know, I’m going to teach you how to do something with it and a lot of structure. Because the stuff I do is about life. It’s about relationships, it’s about, it’s the stuff they get. You gotta roll your sleeves up and get dirty and you know, mess up your shirt. Get your hair messy, to answer these kind of questions because emotions are messy.

Santiago Leon
Emotions baggage is really really deep. You know, it’s funny because we

Unknown Speaker
It will destroy your company, but go ahead.

Santiago Leon
Yeah, no, no, it’s exactly what it is. How important obviously, Willie, when you coach people, how important you know is this Their business obviously, you know, you’re dealing with life and not give me any business tactics, but obviously a lot of emotional issue but how does that reflect on to their business?

Arnie Fonseca
Well, number one, I always I like to see the world from their point of view. But a lot of the things that I basis on our lot of experiences I had because I want you to go have to go through what I went through because that might shock. And I know you know, I look back years and I go Man, I wish I would have had a company to help me through some really rough stuff. And know that you kind of go back and what you just said their ideas, some coaching business, only because I’ve done it. So Yes, most of my stuff is soft skills, communication, relationship building, attitude. All that stuff is very, very important as you’re putting together teams, but if people have questions on finance stuff or other things that are our business planning that what I can do Santiago is refer them to people that I trust, that are really really good at that because I can give you back because I had to do it on my company. Because in one of the things I didn’t leave that in who I was, I didn’t brain and spinal cord rehabilitation 30 years. So talk about a great atmosphere to learn about people. Because these are individuals that went through hell in their life, and I learn how to help them to put it back together. It’s like Humpty Dumpty falls off The wall falls into a million pieces. And what of what the fuck are you supposed to do? Right? Yeah. And I had to help them piece by piece put this thing back together again, relationships are just get blown up things with their family, their jobs, finances, is it just a shit show? And I had to learn a lot of different ways to communicate and strategize with people and sit him down, introduce them to people that could help them out of this utter hell. And, and that taught me a lot. You know, it’s like going to graduate school on, on on turmoil and chaos. Because it’s very few things you can learn about turmoil and chaos from a book, but you sure as hell can learn from life.

Santiago Leon
So coach Arnie, obviously I mean, for me in my eyes feels like the coaching industry has become popular in the last couple years. Why is that? Obviously Why is it so popular lately?

Arnie Fonseca
Well, because people want help. But people are also looking for shortcuts. And I’m okay with both of those things. But sometimes the shortcuts aren’t the best way. Because you still gotta work hard. And if a coach is promising you to get you from A to Z without with missing a few steps in the middle, it’s kind of like doing algebra. I taught high school algebra for five years. And the reason that everybody hates algebra, right? Yeah. And what are the things I used to teach the kids to say, look, here’s why algebra is important. Because it teaches you steps. And you might get the first step, right. But if you miss the second step, then even though you do all the work, and step three and four perfectly, you miss the problem, because you missed a step. And that’s kind of how life Santiago, you know, it is takes shortcuts at some point is going to catch up with you. And so my problem with some of the young coaches and God bless you because yeah, we didn’t have this around when I was a 22 year old 23 year old. Yeah, exactly. But at the same time, we didn’t have this. I’m gonna be a life coach, is that wrong with it? Essentially, if you’re teaching, like how to do stuff in computer in tech, except that I don’t even understand. But when you get into life, and that stretch, so at the same time, I think it’s important because it’s friend of mine, his name is Jay Elliot. And this guy, he we have him on a team because I’m actually working on a nap. I think I might have told you this. And Jay Elliott is on our board. And Jay Elliott was the mentor to Steve Jobs. He’s worked at IBM and jobs met him at a coffee shop back in the year. And they just started talking you see was probably want to say 20, maybe 1520 years older. And jobs try to convince him to come over to Apple and because that was IBM doing well, until jobs basically convinced him is that two jobs was that you need come over here and you need you need my, my guy, my mentor my life coach even though coaching hadn’t really been termed yet because Robin swim is that term out to it, but they came over and he was he was with jobs at Apple until jobs got let go by the board. But he was, you know, basically he was a guy that jobs went to for advice. And so, you know, coaching, its strategic and it’s done for the right reasons. with somebody that has the right experience can allow you to skip over steps. But you got to know what you’re where you’re going to get there. You know, you just can’t miss things because you’re going to make big mistakes. And I think sometimes an inexperienced coach can create a bigger mistake, because they haven’t seen it. They haven’t seen it. You know? Look, I’m a big fan, Santiago, that of the old mike tyson advice. You need to get punched in the face. Like, because then you’re going to find out who you are. And if somebody protects you from getting punched in the face too much.

Arnie Fonseca
I think that could be a problem. I did a talk one time many years ago, probably 10 910 years ago. I said don’t wait till you’re 50 kicked in the teeth. It hurts a lot more. The best time to learn how to get punched in the face is as Gary Vee would say is now if you’re in your 20s get hammered around a little bit, get punched around, figure out what you don’t like, what you like, what works, what doesn’t work. If helping if working with a coach helps you get burned by a coach helps you great. But don’t. I wouldn’t personally rely on on a young young coach to get you there unless it’s a specific place like with a maybe in software or in something technical that they really are good at. Although, you know, I mean, looking in the NFL, you know, two years ago, even this year, two years ago, a young coach got his team to the Super Bowl, that he got beat by a very experienced coach that basically out coached him. This year you had another young coach who got him to the Super Bowl, but he got outcoached by very experienced coach that exposed it. So, you know, it is what it is. I’m not making it up, because those are real life experiences. So depending how you want to spend your dollars, I would be careful on spending it on somebody super inexperienced. And you could be 40 or 50 and be inexperienced without having a very specific thing that you want, like a relationship, business, a book, a software situation, because unless someone’s been there, done that, it’s going to be tougher. I promise you, or they’re going to give you an opportunity to go through it with them. And maybe they’ll give you a break on price. I don’t know. Already, I’ve talked to doctors, experienced young coaches and you’d be surprised what they know but Pretty.

Santiago Leon
Arnie, one thing you mentioned earlier is Gary Vee. And of course you become a social Faena, like you’re in every platform even on Tick Tock. I’m right. How has social media impacted you and your business?

Arnie Fonseca
I’ll be honest with you, social media has allowed me an opportunity to help more businesses from a business standpoint than anything else. Because of listen to the guys like Gary Vee, it has allowed me to have that superpower with businesses that will listen, because if you’re not listening to social media, you’re going to make a big mistake. I was talking to a company owner today. They own a pool company. And it’s an aging company. It’s been in business for Gosh, over 30 years. And their staff is aging up to she’s experiencing all kind of person personnel problem because they have an aging staff that is not growing. I mean, when I say growing in, in learning in being a better person communication skills, all the things they need to learn how to do. And she’s, she’s got a boatload of problems. And even though they’re trying to sell the company, they may not be able to and they got this 18 staff, it’s not getting better. So, and I told her today I said, he can’t dump your whole staff at lunch because every time they hire a younger, better person, it’s like an eye opener. Like, you know, we need more people like this. Yeah, because you have people you bring people in, they’re hungry, they’re going to be better. So it has a little allowed me to discover these new strategies to help companies avoid these problems. So that’s, I think, to me the value of social media. It’s not about sharing your nonsense with people. It’s about learning from other people and how you can be better and sharing it with other people and companies so that they can be better and convincing them. Hey, look, you need to be over here. And over here and over here sharing what you’re doing. Do the same thing yesterday with a guy who was in the drone business. And I was just tell him I go How many times are you posting? Well, once Here I go, look, did you got hundreds of videos? And he took this I could tell you the emotional budget. No, who knows who the hell you are. I use other language but no one knows who you are. I go you need to be posting three to five times on LinkedIn. You day. You need to be posting videos every day about what you’re doing. And you Really I go Yeah, really? And you’re not, you know, you know, but he’s complaining that nobody, she’s not getting business. Nobody knows who he is. Okay, our greatest videos are doesn’t matter. Nobody knows who he is. So different time and different place. So that’s the value of for me, I get excited that I get excited about social media because of Gary Vee. And that mindset of where’s it going next? Because I’m not locked in anything. But since we’re done with this, Santiago, I’m recording my podcast, you know, but I’m doing something different. I’m doing a 10 minute podcast. And it could be longer, but there’s no rules. I’m just having fun. I’m not just putting out information. And you know, call it the second half because I’m 60. So, you know, I plan on living another 60 years. So I’m just putting stuff out that are lessons and I’ve learned to help other people avoid certain things and learn certain things in Don’t get locked into anything, because it’s all changing man and it’s changing fast.

Santiago Leon
Ready for some random questions? Ready? What is your favorite sneaker?

Arnie Fonseca
Because I’m a runner. It’s the copo Trail shoe.

Santiago Leon
Never heard of it. I will Google it. Which movie you can see again and again.

Arnie Fonseca
Oh, man, it’s gotta be. It’s got to be Rocky. Rocky to the greatest relationship movie of all time, Rocky too. Because when he’s landed when she’s in the hospital, when she’s in a hospital in a coma, and he’s given up everything for his woman, and she rolls over, you can google this and all he says, I’m not gonna fight anymore. I’m gonna fight you more into He looked at him and she says, win. And that’s all he needed. And that’s what men need from their significant other, if their significant other has their back and tells them to go out there and slay the dragon, they’ll do it.

Santiago Leon
What would you tell your 15 year old self?

Arnie Fonseca
I would tell my 15 year old self to try more things don’t get locked into one thing because I got locked in man, like a laser beam on being a teacher and a coach. You know, and so 50 years ago, you know, 45 years ago, I would have said, try more things. You know, even though I thought it was doing a lot of things, but I would continue I would say, you know, travel more experience life more, do more things. And because you you can always come back to what you want it to do.

Santiago Leon
Let me expand this x is a big question, what would you tell a person in their 20s? And what would you tell us a person in their 30s

Arnie Fonseca
Today person in your 20s is do a lot of stuff, take some shots, because you got nothing to worry about. The world’s moving super fast, take some shots, get out there, you know, go bankrupt, you know, go for it. Take, don’t get don’t get into a serious relationship unless it’s your soulmate, unless it’s somebody that just needs all checks all the boxes, on your on your list as far as the soulmate goes. But try different things to figure out what’s going on because there’s so many opportunities out there in life in your 30s. You know, now’s the time, you know, look, if you found that special person, make a commitment, make a commitment, because life is relationships. And if you found that right person, you got to go for it. And, and then by now you’re starting to figure things out. Take some take some Take some big swings, and make that commitment to that business idea, or that job or whatever it might be. You know, I don’t think you need school you need people. Find people that can help you get what you want. Quit listening to other people telling you what you can’t do. Listen to your heart and your gut and commit. Take a Stand in life if you’re in your 30s take a stand with your relationships, take a stand with your finances your job, take a stand with your health. What do you want to do? Find something that you like as far as exercise in nutrition, you know, that stuff should all be worked out from your 20s trying different foods trying different exercises, trying different people that you can new environments that you might want to you know, figure out you know, by your 30 years you had to step certain starting to dial this stuff in. Start dial this stuff in and start anchoring man start anchoring down And then go for it, lean into it and go hard.

Santiago Leon
Wow, this is pretty awesome. Now I have another question. Now, back in your time was like being in your 20s your 30s different, like, versus right now it feels like a kids kind of

Arnie Fonseca
Oh my god.

Santiago Leon
Where do we start?

Arnie Fonseca
Totally different man? Totally different because back then you know that you’re supposed to have it all dialed in by the time you’re out of college or before. Yeah, and a lot of my friends did a lot of my friends went to trade school became welders or firemen. Or they went to school became a doctor or lawyer. My mom hated the fact when I started a business because she never to the day she died. She didn’t get it. She goes good. Remember that. I was raised by depression era kids. They were they grew up in the depression. So a job was a big deal. This whole entrepreneur thing you’re talking about. It wasn’t even term man true nobody knew would start a business associate business like I was doing it was it was foreign It was like you know a business was like I’m going to be a lawyer I’m going to be a doctor I’m gonna you know have a store I’m going to sell widgets you know all this other stuff was like very foreign.

Santiago Leon
What is the best way to reach you on reach you in general?

Arnie Fonseca
First of all, you can call me or text me period on my phone number 602390914 for you’re not gonna bother me. You’re gonna bother me if you don’t call me if you have a question number two on you can look me up on Twitter or real are are on tik tok, real coach Arnie on Facebook or LinkedIn and Arnie Fonseka Jr. You can also go to my Facebook page coach, Coach Arnie on Facebook on Instagram coach Arnie, F. You can you can just google me just put an army fun thinking Jr. Just put an army fun thinking and good Go and eight pages crapple come up. look me up. I’d love to talk to you. I’d love to have a cup of coffee with you With you, whether in person or virtual. Let’s talk about it.

Santiago Leon
There you have it. Coach Arnie, I appreciate you coming on to the slam productions podcast.

Arnie Fonseca
appreciate you asking me man, and I love you brother and just keep it up. Okay.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai